Sometimes, despite the very best intentions, we fall flat.
Take, for example, my ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ for 2016. Towards the end of 2015 I reached a point in my body acceptance journey where I was over rebelling against what I was told I could and couldn’t wear and pulling my middle finger at the diet industry, and felt ready to move into a phase of nurturing my body. I felt – and still feel – that loving your body means looking after it as best you can, by eating healthily and exercising. (The key to my belief here is that – different to what they had meant to me before – diet and exercise was to nurture a body I loved, not punish and alter a body I hated). And so, I got it into my mind that with the new year, I would start a new routine: one filled with frequent exercise and healthy meals.
One of the things I was most excited about was the activewear. In my ‘previous life’ gym garb had consisted of ratty old tracksuit pants, and scruffy t-shirts. I died a million deaths at the thought of anyone recognising me on the way to, during or at gym. But now, in my new body positive reincarnation, I would dress up to go to gym – a device that I hoped would make me feel excited about exercising. So, when I stumbled across Mermaids & Unicorns online and spied their funky and whimsical active-wear, it was love at first sight. Quirky prints, dinosaurs, unicorns, mermaids – and it was a South African brand. It was as if it was made for me! I jumped at the chance – the honour – to feature them on the blog.
Except that now it’s almost the end of June 2016 and can you guess how many times I’ve been to the gym? Yeah, it’s less than that. As disgusted and ashamed as I am of myself for not doing what I know is good for me, it’s all the more worsened by the fact that I let a brand that I admire and that has supported me down.
My gorgeous, funky, fun leggings have sat in my cupboard, unused. This is not what gorgeous, funky, fun leggings are designed for. These leggings are designed for for making you feel good, for making others feel good when they see you in them feeling good, and then in turn making you feel good again after you see other people feeling good at seeing you feel good in them.
So today I decided to get over myself, get over sucking it big time, to put on the leggings of awesomness I didn’t deserve to wear, and to break them in with some yoga.
This is how it went:
The leggings fit me beautifully – not to be weird here, but how great does my ass look in them? I’m usually pretty petrified of anything tight on my ass. They are super high-quality and robust – both in the assembly of the garment and the heavier-weight fabric – and I suspect will stand up much better to the toll of chub rub in the groin region than my other leggings do.
And also heed a lesson I had to learn the hard way:
Don’t put off doing something because you feel you won’t be good enough at it. We’re often not good at it the first time – in my case I didn’t become an instant devoted gym bunny because the clock struck 2016. And the longer I left it, the more I hyped myself up about how much more I’d have to do to make up for what I wasn’t already doing, until it was easier just to forget about the whole thing. I didn’t need to become a pinnacle of plus size athleticism to be deserving of these awesome leggings – I just need to put the damn things on and do something. In this case it was half an hour or trying to touch my toes and balance on one leg, but maybe tomorrow I’ll go for a brisk walk. And if someone sees me, in my multicoloured wonderpants, they’ll smile and think ‘Oooh, good for her, maybe I should get out there, and where did she get those spectacular pants from?’
And then both my job and the legging’s job will be done.